


Time

by marvelousbones



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Blood, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Death, F/F, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Sad, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:42:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27841690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelousbones/pseuds/marvelousbones
Summary: Kara's grieving and revisits her wife's grave. She's dealing with the aftermath of her failed attempt to save Earth from Lex's maniacal grasp. She hadn’t meant to go that far. No one was supposed to get hurt...If only she just had more time.(TRIGGER WARNINGS: implied major/minor character death and descriptions of blood)
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 9
Kudos: 35





	Time

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story for my Advanced Creative Writing class but I didn't have the names and I added a few details. I wrote it with Supercorp in mind anyway. Warning, it is very angsty but I hope y'all enjoy it anyway. 
> 
> Again,  
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: Implied Major Character Death, major character death, just death in general, mentions of Blood

Kara tilted her face to the ground, cascades of dark blonde locks hiding her dirt-caked face like a curtain, a noise of distress escaped her tight vocal cords. She stood in front of the dark stone that has seen better days, the world eerily quiet except for the howling of the wind.

She hadn’t meant to go that far.

No one was supposed to get hurt.

She tried to save them but there wasn’t enough time. The voices in her head grew louder as she dug her fingers into her scalp, pressing hard enough to feel the faint biting sting of her blunt nails.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered into the darkness.

Angling her head up to the sky, she felt the wind whip across her tear-stained cheeks. Her eyes flew open, trembling hand reached up to touch a damp cheek. She hadn’t even realized she was crying.

Squeezing her eyes shut again, she tried to forget. No matter how hard she struggled, she couldn’t chase out the blood-curling screams from her head. She wished she could shut them out but the more she tried, the louder they became.

“You always told me how good I was, that I was your hero,” she whispered, “the whole world did. If only they could see me now.”

She let out a bitter self-loathing laugh. She had already lost one world and promised she would die protecting this one. Look where she was now.

The all-consuming rage was the motivating factor that pushed her past her breaking point. Rage towards him, Lex, that egomaniacal self-centered bastard. She knew she was playing right into his hand too. She knew it, yet she let it happen.

Shaking her head, she knew there was no way to change the past.

A strangled sob escaped her throat as she fell to her knees in front of the weathered piece of granite, the brown dirt concaving under her kneecaps, staining her suit.

“Why did you have to leave?” She screamed as the wind carried her voice throughout the ashen wasteland.

“Everyone that I love always dies. You left me,” Kara sobbed as angry tears hit the ground mixing with the fine layer of grey dust littering the soil.

“You left me alone! How could you do that?” the strangled sounds ripping out from her hoarse throat like a demon crawling its way out of the depths of Hell. The wind seemed to pick up on her anger as it swirled around her like a perilous tornado.

She screamed and screamed until her throat was raw and her shoulders shook with silent sobs, her anguished cries slowly dying down. The air whooshed, the sound piercing the silence assaulting her overstimulated ears and biting at her cheeks, drying her tears.

Eventually, her tears ran dry as she sat in front of that grey slab of rock. Her hand reached up to reverently trace the white letters etched into the stone.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized again, “I know I’m a disappointment. You believed in me and I let you down. I couldn’t protect you and I couldn’t protect them.”

She was truly and utterly alone.

And it was all her fault.

“Do you hear them, Lena? The screams?” She whispered as her hands clutched at the stone, the mineral cracking under her strong fingertips.

Hearing the rock screech in protest, she loosened her tight grip as her calloused fingers caressed the beat-up stone.

“I don’t know what to do anymore. Every time I close my eyes, I see them, I hear them, I smell their flesh being searing off their bones,” Kara choked, words catching in her throat as the images danced behind her eyes.

“There’s nothing left here anymore. I gave it all to you, to them, to us. I’m sorry that I’m a failure,” her voice scratchy like sandpaper, body trembling in the harsh breeze.

“I hope you’re happy at least. I miss you so damn much. I don’t know how I’ve survived this long without you, but the people of National City, of Earth, kept me going. They relied on me and now they've gone too. I fucked up,” she rubbed her tired eyes with a bloody fist.

She looked down at her blood and dirt-soaked suit as she ripped the tattered fabric off her body. The already-damaged material easily tore away from her exhausted body as the material fluttered to the floor.

Her family coat of arms, the sigil of the House of El, plastered across the front stared back at her, almost in a mocking manner. The symbol was supposed to represent hope. _She_ was supposed to represent hope.

Hope, help, and compassion for all. 

She let out a self-deprecating scoff at the notion now. A feral growl ripped from her throat as she grabbed the tattered remains of the suit and flung it as far as she could. It shot through the darkened sky and disappeared past her eyesight.

She shivered as she knelt on the ground in only her sports bra and boy shorts, the pants of her suit long gone in the preceding battle. Exhaustion sunk through her limbs as her body pitched forward, forehead resting on the cool stone in front of her. She heard rather than felt the blood from the gash on her head drip onto the stone with a wet ‘plip’, body too numb to feel anymore.

She took a shaky breath as her bruised knuckles pressed into the ashy dirt beneath her. What was she supposed to do now? The people she fought so hard to protect, gone just like that.

She hadn’t meant to go that far.

No one was supposed to get hurt.

“I killed Lex for you. I killed him but it didn’t stop the pain of losing you. It didn’t save the world like they told me it would. Instead, I lost everything,” she whispered to the stone.

“I knew what he was trying to do, get under my skin, wanted me to break. I just couldn’t stand what he said about you. He said your death was my fault and you know what, Lena? Maybe it was…” she trailed off, staring at the Earth beneath her.

“Before I met you, I tried to put on a brave face, people knew me as 'the bubbly reporter' or 'sunshine Kara Danvers'," Kara let out a wet laugh, "and I had a good solid support system of Alex and Eliza, but I still always felt like some part of me was hiding. I was putting on a mask for them because I didn't want them to suffer from my burdens. I couldn't be one hundred percent myself with them." 

Kara sighed deeply as she rubbed at her eye, "but then...then I met you."

She couldn't help but smile, the bittersweet image of Lena's smirk when they first met plaguing her memory. "You turned all those strained fake smiles and forced laughter into real ones. I finally had someone to be myself around, not Supergirl, not Kara Danvers, not even Kara Zor-El, but just Kara. You were there to pick up the pieces after Eliza and Alex died. You were the one that convinced me to trust others and to love again, to open up my heart fully to you and accept my feelings for you. We had been dancing around it for _years_ , even though we had been dating for song long, and best friends for even longer. It was you that convinced me to get my head out of my ass and ask you to be my wife. I had longed for Alex and Eliza to be there, but seeing you that day," Kara took a shuddering breath, "you looked absolutely breathtaking. You showed me how to love once more and I was so afraid of losing the people I love again, but you taught me that we have to just accept things the way they are and make the best of it,” a melancholy smile spread over her face as her breath rattled in her chest.

The steady ‘plip’ of blood was becoming more constant as she ran a dirty battered hand through her hair, spreading the blood further through her mud-caked locks, her hair looking a nasty mixture of brown and red instead of its usual sun-kissed blonde. 

“You taught me what it was like to truly be human and how to love. You always said even when it gets tough, have hope, and never give up. I wish you were here, Lena. I wish you were here to come and take this pain away from me. I would give anything to hold you in my arms one last time. And now, you’re so far away…” she sucked in another breath as she closed her eyes.

“I hope you know how terribly sorry I am that I wasn’t there when you needed me the most. After you…after you died, everyone kept telling me that it wasn’t my fault. They said that you were just…collateral damage. They don't know me though, the only people that really did are gone. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about how I could have saved if you if I’d just gotten their faster,” she whispered, a few stray tears managed to leak out of her eyes leaving twin tracks separating the dirt and blood on her face.

Kara thought back to how she got here, talking to her wife's gravestone. She knew the dangers of facing Lex in a fight. She was aware that he fought dirty, yet she flew straight into danger without preamble.

Reckless.

Maybe it was the grief still fresh on her mind after all these months, the visceral anger of being so helpless, or her civic duty as the world’s resident hero. She was too blinded to fully consider the consequences of her actions and Lex used that to his advantage. He gave her an ultimatum, kill him or he kills the rest of the world. She knew she had to make a decision, but she also knew his word meant absolutely nothing and to never trust a man like him. He sensed her hesitation and saw it as a perfect moment to strike.

She should have predicted it. He hurled insults to her face, but she brushed them off. It wasn’t like she hadn’t heard any of them before. It was when he started insulting Kara's wife who was currently buried six feet underground beneath her, that was when she saw red.

She punched the smug look right off his bearded face, but he just laughed at her wrath. He knew exactly how to push her over the edge, and she played right into his hand.

She hadn’t meant to go that far.

No one was supposed to get hurt.

She could still picture his thin lips curled back in an ugly smirk to reveal teeth stained with blood from his split lip, as he pressed the detonator. Green exploded in her vision, and not her favorite forest green, the color of Lena's eyes. No, it was the spine-curling green of Kryptonite that felt like nails being pushed into every one of her nerve endings. 

It was cliché that time seemed to flow in slow motion, her body frozen in dread, and yet her life did not flash before her eyes. She didn’t see a whole montage of memories dance behind her eyelids as they show in those cheesy movies.

Instead, Kara felt an odd sense of peace, the feeling of coming home after a long day and taking off your shoes to lie on the couch. It was this feeling, conflicted with the melancholy swirling deep in her gut, that left a bitter aftertaste in her mouth.

The brief flash of panic must have shown on her eyes when she realized her mistake because his sneering bloody grin was the last thing she saw before it her vision went white.

It was too late.

After that things became a little bit fuzzy. She doesn’t have too many memories of what happened in between, just darkness, a ringing in her ears, and the distinct smell of burning flesh. When her sensitive ears stopped ringing, she could hear them.

The screams.

Babies crying out for their mothers, women crying out for their loved ones, men crying out for their fathers. Sounds of anguish mixed with the confused barking of dogs and wailing car alarms.

She couldn’t block out any of the sounds. Ears overstimulated, she remembered stumbling to find those she could help. She tried to find him as she limped on unsteady legs. She found his arm sticking out from a piece of rubble and nothing else. Her face twisted in a conflicted grimace. While he was a monster, she hadn’t meant for him to die like that, taking the easy way out. She intended to apprehend him and hand him over so he could pay for his mistakes in the court of law. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. She choked back a sob at the thought that she was the one who killed him. He had left her no choice; it was either him or the entire planet. She should’ve known what he was doing; why did she let him do that? What kind of hero was she?

She remembered a young boy tugging on the torn pant leg of her suit and looking down and seeing the tears in his eyes. She remembered reaching out to the child as he screamed, skin melting off his face as his body turned to ash. She would never forget the sight and the smell as she gagged at the memory.

She gripped the pallid dirt underneath her as she remembered every single person she tried to save. They all suffered the same fate and she was powerless to stop it.

The worst though was the silence. The silence that came after the screams. The stillness that reminded her of what it was like to see her first home disappear. She was once again truly and utterly alone.

Bile rose in her throat as she had the urge to vomit up her non-existent breakfast. She forced it back down with a heavy swallow.

She was tired.

Feeling the blood run down her face, she breathed shakily as she fought to stay conscious. She wasn’t quite sure why she was fighting anymore because, at that point, there was no reason to fight, no hope.

Swallowing thickly, she heard the wind howling in her ears like wolves baying at a full moon.

She felt herself become lightheaded as she knew she had lost a lot of blood in the fight. It would be so easy for her to just close her eyes and give in but that wasn’t her. She never gave up. Right?

“No, that was you. That’s not me,” she mumbled, words becoming harder to form as her tongue felt like lead.

“You were al-alw-always the optimistic one, c-cheering me on, even though everyone thought it was m-me,” she stuttered, brow crinkling in concentration to form the words.

She had no fight left in her anymore and there was nothing left for her here. Maybe it was time to let go.

It would be okay if she closed her eyes for just a few seconds, right?

Her eyelids drooped, as she felt relief at no longer having to force them open, as her head rested against the cold stone.

After a few beats, Kara suddenly felt a warmth surrounding her, and familiar arms wrap around her shivering frame in a tight embrace.

A voice, smooth as silk, whispered in her ear, “I’m here, darling.”

“H-how? How’re you here right now?” Kara struggled, tongue thick in her mouth.

“Am I actually here right now? Or just a figment of your imagination?” the well-known voice asked.

“You’re really here, right?” She asked, brows furrowing in confusion, as her signature crinkle formed between her eyebrows. The movement made her wince in pain as it tugged on the wound on her head causing more blood to rush out of the crevasse.

“No, my love, I am not,” the voice replied in her ear causing goosebumps to erupt on the back of her neck.

She shivered, either from the cold, blood loss, or hearing a voice that she’d thought she would never hear again; she wasn’t quite sure.

“It’s okay Kara; you can let go. You’ve done so well, it’s time," the voice whispered, a smooth tone that Kara would recognize anywhere. 

"T-time for what?" Kara wheezed, breath catching in her throat as each inhale and exhale put pressure on her battered ribs. 

Time to come home,” Lena's voice responded, the Irish lilt that Kara had loved so much oozed through her bones like honey. 

Home.

Kara closed her eyes as she felt the blood from her head running down her cheeks mixing with the last few tears she had to shed.

"Lena..." she whispered, the last few puffs of air crawling their way out of her chest to form the words. 

She hadn’t meant to go that far.

No one was supposed to get hurt…

**Author's Note:**

> it is very angsty as I wrote this back at the beginning of October and I was going through it if you couldn't tell. There is also an overwhelming amount of cliches in this, but oh well. I think my next fic should be much happier than this one. I might post another angst with a slightly happy ending fic after this that I've had in the drafts or write a holiday fic if I have time. (It will be my 100th fic on this site :0 ) Let me know if y'all are interested in any or both (or none) of those. 
> 
> Anyway, happy December! Hope y'all have a great holiday!


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